Location: In my big comfy chair
Mood: Speculative
Listening To: Amazing Grace - On Bagpipes!
Word of the Day: Kerfuffle
Kerfuffle is right. You know those days you wake up, and life starts making it's ugly presence known before you've had your first cup of coffee? It was one of those mornings. *laugh*
It's the most wonderful time of the year. At least if you're me. Samhain is my favourite holiday, and it's just over a month away. This years theme is turning out to be revisiting the past, and self rediscovery. I know I keep saying that, but I need to keep saying it so it sticks in my head.
I have unresolved family issues...at least I'm discovering that I do. I thought I had let all the repressed memories back out, but I can't listen to bagpipes, look at tartan...or butterfinger candy bars for that matter without them stirring huge memories.
*blink* I just went from bagpipes to Brooks and Dunn. *snort* Apollo is having fun tormenting me this morning. You know what I love/hate about my path? I'm close to my Gods...sometimes too close for comfort. There have been so many times over the past week that have confirmed I'm moving in the right direction...and that the path still isn't any easier, but I am not walking it alone.
My grandma and I used to freeze butterfingers in the summer when I'd come and visit, and being in Canada, you can't always find them. I found them today, which means she's thinking about me. I wasn't there when she died, I left Chicago in a snit, and didn't look back for 11 years.
That's just one of the triggers today, there were a lot more, and I'd bore you if I wrote about them all.
Samhain, Tradition and Heritage. Those 3 go together very well this time of year.
Every year before I Samhain, I try to redo my altar. Sometimes I succeed on time, sometimes not. This year, I got a headstart on it. I'm cleansing my whole living space. Last week we picked up little Samhain Trees. I decorated mine, and placed it in the centre of my altar. I know, I know...who decorates their altar with things like that? I do. Because it has meaning to me. It speaks of the fun times I had as a kid. It speaks of the connection I'm building with my ancestors. It speaks of longevity and the wisdom of the ancients because it's a tree.
I also found a snowglobe shaped like an egg with a skeleton in it.
A. It's egg shaped
B. It's a snow globe
C. It's got a skeleton in it, and it's cool.
I started collecting eggs about 10 years ago. Mostly stone with fossil's in them, cut, shaped, and polished. Then it expanded to things like quartz, amethyst, etc, again shaped like an egg. They're great for storing energy, and focussing my work. You go with what works right?
My magic has always been more intuitive than ritualistic. Not that I can't participate in ritual, but I'm always more comfortable with going with the flow, and channelling the needs/desires.
Back to the altar. Having my little gift of being able to walk on both sides of the veil, skulls have symbolism for me. One of my friends one year gave me a cool pewter Celtic skull, and that started that collection. I picked up a skull ashtray the other day to use as an offering dish, and just yesterday found 3 candle holders that are skulls down to mimick the hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil thing. Very cool.
Since I've always been about the balance, I celebrate both life and death with my altar. And have everything from eastern symbolism to Egyptian and Celtic. And my wolves.
I've given some more thought to what I want to write about on here. I think in the spirit of unity, I'll post on holidays...not just Pagan ones but all religions...or at least as many as I know about. I've also thought about maybe things I've learned over the years. Techniques etc. So far it's been pretty random. Mind you, I'm only 5 blogs in, and still cutting my teeth on the whole thing. I had a private blog years ago to just get things out. This one is definitely more public, so brand new again. I'm a very private person by nature, and there are many things that will remain private, but in the spirit of my newly refound mentality, some things need to be changed.
I'm putting this disclaimer in here. I'm not looking to take on students, but if my writings can help someone, cool. I will say, if I put anything in here, that you feel the need to repost elsewhere, then just give credit where credit is due.
And on that note...
Meditation on the past
I usually put on music that relaxes me.
Location isn't crucial, but you should be somewhere you won't be disturbed, and someplace comfortable. I'm most grounded in my bedroom, and that's where my altar is.
It's your choice whether you're lying down or sitting.
I'll light a candle and draw my circle, thinking about what I'm trying to accomplish. (even though I titled this for working with the past, this first part works well for me in any mediation)
Once in your position of choice...(get your minds out of the gutter) take calming breaths. Sometimes it takes more than others, you should know what relaxed feels like for you. In this, I find that I accomplish 2 things. I regulate my heartrate, and I exhale the negative energy.
Once I'm relaxed, I like to visualize a path, and depending on how much I've got on my mind, the path is either very long, or very short. It always ends at the same place. A bridge over a stream, and then off into the woods.
Once I get to the middle of the bridge, I look over the railing, focus on my reflection, and let all the negative things that came to the surface on the walk fall into the water to be swept away. This leaves me with only thoughts of my purpose remaining. I then walk through the woods and think on the purpose. In this case, we're mediating on the past. My latest one dealt with my father, and the non relationship we had.
Not that we didn't have a relationship, it's just that neither of us made it healthy for the other one. All I had seen for years was my side of the equation. And 99 times out of 100, I'd only see the negative when I looked back. He died when I was 15, and really, just never had enough time to figure each other out. Sad to say, I have a better relationship with him now than I did then.
My next trip into the past will be more personal, and more looking into the mirror.
The above mediation works for me, and it's modified from different things I've seen/read over the years. The most important thing with meditation, is find what works for you. I like the symbolism of the bridge, as it gives a focal point for dumping the negative. I use a forest to walk through as that's what's more comfortable for me. You might visualize a beach, or the top of a skyscraper. Meditation is a personal thing, and no one can tell you exactly how to do it.
And I think that's it for this installment.
Happy Monday everyone!
