It's been that long?

Mood: Surprised
Listening To: Lita Ford and Ozzy
Word of the Day: Scaruba - I love making up new words

Wow, it looks like it's been 2 months since I posted a new blog entry. I was doing so well!
It happens this time of year though. Working retail tends to suck the very fibre out of my existence during the cursed Christmas holiday season.

Pleasantly surprising was the lack of morally dysfunctional people that usually crowd the mall in December. We had a very good mix of customers this year. Usually, there's pushing, bickering, down right mean people. And don't get me wrong, those people were still in the mall, but there was more a sense of...dare I say it...humanity out there. More folks smiling, wishing everyone merry this, or happy that. It almost brought my cynical mind out of the morose, and gave me a bit of hope. Almost. The troll is still the troll, and I let him have too much power over me. Now I'm fighting my way back to the surface to pry myself out from under his thumbnail. Human Resources was no help.

I had a bit of a falling out with faith again. Not the full blown..."I hate you, I refuse to believe in you kind of falling out." The kind where I just reevaluated it a little bit, and reflected not on what they're doing for me, but what I'm doing for me. Does that make sense?

I've also sent my resume to a couple of things out of my element. An office job, and cruise lines. And I guess cruise lines aren't really out of my element, just out of my current rut that I've been in. We'll see if it goes anywhere. I screwed up an opportunity a couple of months ago, and in reflection, it was more out of fear of change than anything else.
I thought I was over that, but I guess not.

I really don't think I've moved past...the past. I'm hoping the business trip to Chicago next month will help with that. I just feel, blocked. Not that I consider it home anymore, but it was my and mom's original home. I don't know what life is trying to accomplish by sending me there, but I'm going to embrace it, and be open to the concept of some kind of closure. Maybe I just need to suck in the energy of the area that set me on my spiritual path? Maybe I need to talk to ghosts in my grandparent's old house? Maybe I just need a real Chicago pizza. Whatever the reason, it's going to be a positive experience, because I'm going to MAKE it a positive experience.

I guess that's it for now bloggerverse. Have a wonderful day.